Welcome to The Great Release. Not great as in good; great as in massive. What does this mean? Let me give you some examples.
I am stopped at a red light, ready to make a lefthand turn. Another driver perpendicular to me turns down the road. He is blaring his horn at the driver ahead of him. It is excessive, and he is not letting up. A few weeks later I am in a store witnessing a man yelling at an employee. He may be a grown adult but he is having a full-on tantrum. A couple of weeks later it is my father-in-law’s 70th birthday. I am overspent and know I need to decline this party. I apologize, but I know if I go, I will be past the point of no return.
Are you finding that your loved ones, your clients, or even strangers you meet along the way have less capacity for stress than ever before? But aren’t we on the other side of this pandemic? Doesn’t that mean things should be getting easier?
I empathize deeply with the widespread confusion that is being felt by many during this time. When I run mental health workshops with counsellors, social workers, and caregivers, I ask them if their clients and loved ones seem to have less stress tolerance now than ever. Almost every hand goes up. When I ask if they know why, no one seems to know. So, let me fill you in because understanding may be the first step to getting some capacity back.
A research paper from 1999 titled The Role of Uncontrollable Trauma in the Development of PTSD and Alcohol Addiction, by Joseph Volpicelli, M.D., Ph.D.; Geetha Balaraman; Julie Hahn; Heather Wallace, M.A.; and Donald Bux, Ph.D. explains that when a trauma happens we get a boost of endorphins in our brain. “During the time of the trauma, endorphin levels remain elevated and help numb the emotional and physical pain of the trauma.” I used to call this autopilot. The thing about autopilot is that it can’t stay on forever. What surprises many is that life can start to feel like it is falling apart after a crisis subsides. But why?
The paper goes on to explain that, “This period of endorphin withdrawal may produce emotional distress and contribute to other symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).” In other words, autopilot is the impact of heightened endorphin levels that helps us cope during times of high stress, and when those levels dip that’s when we start to grapple with how to cope.
Harvard Health Publishing calls endorphins “The brain’s natural pain reliever”. This pain reliever helps release stress and gives us a sense of well-being. It is this uptick that carries us through tough times. But, when the crisis eases that boost of endorphins dips! In other words, autopilot shuts off. When it does, those endorphins don’t go back to their baseline level. They drop below normal. This is where researchers noted that alcohol use increased. Alcohol, it turns out, is one of many endorphin boosters.
The pandemic shook our world like an earthquake, and the rumblings of crisis have continued ever since. As we sift through the rubble, still unsure of who or what is safe, we enter the work of what it means to rebuild our society. This labour can get messy. Let us explore what it means to move forward in the aftershocks of loss.
First of all, be gentle with yourself and others. Regardless of your position in society, the letters behind your name, the title you hold, or the role you play in other people’s lives, you are human. We can’t help but be impacted by our experiences. This pandemic has been anything but a great equalizer!
Secondly, stay curious. You are the expert on what is helpful or unhelpful to you. For anyone who has turned to a problematic resource to cope, ask yourself what that resource is doing for you. Is it helping you numb the pain, reduce social anxiety, or release your mental, emotional, or physical stress? Is there anything else you can try that might give you a similar experience? For example, could you use a distraction, go for a hike, or call a friend and have an authentic conversation about how you’re doing? Can you set some boundaries to protect your capacity, or reach out to a helpline such as Talk Suicide or Kids Help Phone? Or, click here for our free, downloadable crisis resources.
You can also ask yourself what is unhelpful about the strategies you are using. For instance, are any of your coping techniques disrupting your sleep, draining your finances, or interfering with the quality of your relationships?
Better understanding the helpful side of behaviours can give us clues about what we need. Increasing our clarity on how our behaviours may be unhelpful can motivate us to explore new coping strategies.
Finally, consider other ways you can boost those endorphins. According to the Cleveland Clinic, we can do this through exercise, eating spicy food, having a bite of chocolate, making art, listening to music, having sex, watching something funny, and more. You can also try having a good cry, spending time with friends, or release the tension by spending time in nature.
The next time you experience someone who has reached their stress tolerance, and if that someone is you, remember our systems are doing exactly what they are hardwired to do. Stress is a call to rest. Go easy on yourself as you clear the debris and work your way through to the other side of The Great Release.
Article by Shawna Percy
